Uncanny Love!

There are many shades and flavours of love around us and it takes some patience and practice to truly recognize some. While some couples are visibly in love, made evident by the way they look at each other, hold hands or speak to each other, there are others who on the surface seem to be indifferent to each other or even happen to speak out against their spouse but there is an underlying layer of deep love under that façade of non-attachment. This type of love is not usually seen in couples of recent generations but is sometimes practiced in couples of a much older generation, the ones that have been together for over three or four decades now.

It took me years to notice and truly recognize this uncanny love shared by a beautiful couple, now married for close to thirty five years. As individuals, they have strikingly different personalities. Ma is dynamic, social, talkative and extremely stylish, while Baba chooses simplicity over style every single time. He is a keen observer, connoisseur of good food but a man of few words. With visibly opposing personalities combined with Ma’s occasional bickering about Baba coupled with complete absence of any PDA may make you think that they aren’t really compatible and to a stranger they would clearly look like a case of “opposites attract”.

However, when you watch them over time, you know that they are deeply in love, an unusual, uncanny love that is never expressed in words and barely visible to those around, but only felt by them. Their love is evident in small things which could be easily missed. It is seen in the shared teaspoon of rice, lovingly taken by Ma from her husband’s plate. It is in the complete acceptance of his opinion on everything from a saree to a career decision. It is seen in the quick sprint Ma gets into every time her name is called, so softly, that it is audible only to her. Hidden behind Ma’s everlasting complaint of how Baba drags her to all social engagements or trips against her will is evidence of how the they can never be apart for long, now, more than ever.

I sometimes look at them and wonder if this is how couples become after many decades of companionship. People change over time and every person has their flaws, being a couple for so long just makes a person acutely aware of their spouse’s habits, beliefs, practices, routine, even phrases. Not everything is loved, some of it is hated and even complained about. However, the beauty of love is, that it does not need to manifest itself in words always, shown through hugs, kisses, flowers or gifts like we often imagine it to be.

Watching them makes me believe that love can be obscure, unexpressed yet deep, much deeper than we can imagine. It can be the simple yet everlasting promise to be companions forever, to stick together irrespective of all the annoying habits and irritating disagreements. It is not only about appreciating the positives but also about embracing the imperfections. 

Cheers to Love!


You may also enjoy reading The Quaint Love Story!