Writing has been immensely rewarding. It gives me the ability to flex my intellectual muscle and the rewards in the form of compliments I receive feel wonderful. It is pure joy for me when people tell me that they have enjoyed reading it, that it made them feel some emotions. A lot of friends told me that they never knew I could write so well. The honest truth is, that even I did not know that I could and that I would enjoy it so much, even if it is about small incidents from my life which can be easily forgotten with the passage of time. I did think about writing, many a times over the past few years, but actually got down to doing it very recently, only after I fell unconscious after a head injury. I gained consciousness to a new ‘me’.
Only after the incident I felt that I was missing something,
that I had to do something other than what I was doing already, that I had to
do something selfish, only for myself and if it brings a smile to others, then
that is a huge bonus. There is a deep realization within me that there is more
to life than the money we earn, the job we hold, the material possessions, the
clothes, shoes or mobile phone that we have. Only if we choose to keep
ourselves happy, can we make ourselves happy, or our days can be spent looking
at life pass us by like we would look at the world from the window of a bus. I
notice a lot of people complain and feel angry at a lot of things on a regular
basis, life can be easily spent in dissatisfaction too. I am guilt of it too at
times, but I try to avoid it as much as possible.
I write my blog to be able to share some thoughts and experiences with all those willing to read, sometimes, I write to my husband, to share some of my
innermost thoughts and feelings with him, knowing
that I cannot say all that I want to, verbally. I write to my children too, a
diary in the form of tiny letters to them, about their growth milestones, about
holidays we spent together, about the beautiful moments they have given me, even
the things they have broken and how a touch, a kiss, a hug or a few words from
them that make my life much richer than it ever could have been. They show me so
much every day, that can only be experienced…words and photographs can only
capture fragments of it. When I began writing the diary soon after my elder son
was born, I could not really pin point as to why I write to him. But, lately,
the reasons became clearer to me.
I write to them, so we remember the precious moments we have
spent together. They would not remember these beautiful years of their life
when they grow up and my memory might get hazy too with time. These letters would
act as their external hard drives, so they can enjoy moments from their
childhood again, read about themselves and have a good laugh, marvel about
their own acts of mischief. Maybe, when they are teenagers or even older, they
may disagree/argue with me, question what their mother did for them, they would
still know that their mother loves them irrespective of everything else.
Lastly, when I am no longer around them, they can still have a little bit of me
telling them how much I love them. They will be able to relive the beautiful
moments we have spent together as mom and kids.
I feel that we all lead extraordinarily beautiful lives, we
just need to believe it and identify that beauty in our lives. Like I said
earlier, only if we choose to keep ourselves happy, can we make ourselves
happy. Dreams need to be chased, heartfelt desires need to be worked on and
feelings need to be communicated. I also
believe that it is essential to celebrate, be it a birthday, an anniversary,
all achievements, however small, in whichever way that gives us happiness, be
it through a party, or a trip, a private dinner, anything….but it has to be
something. Only when we enjoy ourselves can we remember it for long, we would
not remember the uneventful, routine days we spent watching life pass us by. It
is the special, happy, wonderful moments that make our lives worth living, and
these moments need us to make them memorable.
“Memories have to be
made in order to remember them. Make some really good ones every day!”
- Doe Zantamata
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