Friday 13 February 2015

Family Trademark!


It’s the Friday, the thirteenth, but the day began well for me with my post on parenting getting posted on the webpage for ParentEdge magazine. I proudly show the e-mail to my husband and he happily congratulates me. Soon after he leaves, it is time for me to give our one year old a bath. Like every day, he is playing a game with me while I try to massage him with oil. Every time I take my hands off him to get some oil, he crawls away from the mat and laughs when I struggle to reach out and catch him. The only difference today was that he seemed to a little more enthusiastic than usual. He giggled at me while rolling on the bed as I tried to grab his tiny little foot.

With tiny pink lips and curly locks of hair that hang on his face, he looks like a doll to me. He looks so cute that people often mistake him for a girl! It is such a joy watching him that sometimes I don’t want him to grow up. Once more, as I sit on one side of the bed and let go off him to pour some oil on my palm, he crawls away, smiling. He turns to see me and sneaks a mischievous look at me, waiting for me to reach out. I notice that he has reached the other extreme of the bed, I call out his name but before I can grab him, he rolls over, bumps his head on the side table before hitting the floor with a thud. He begins to cry in pain as I rush over and pick him up.

As I try to console him I feel like a failure as a mother. A mother who failed to protect her little one from getting hurt. I hold him close and as he calms down I find an ugly blue bump emerging on his forehead and a small cut at the outer corner of his right eye. Once he stops crying I take him to his bathtub and to my surprise he happily begins to play in the warm water, while a droplet of blood on the side of his eyelid mocks at me, leaving me feeling terrible. It is indeed amazing how soon kids get back to normal and forget their pain. I wish we adults could do the same. I begin to wonder if it is indeed something to do with Friday the 13th.

I call up my husband to share my anguish. I narrate the whole incident and tell him how miserable I am feeling about the cut. Knowing that the skin near our eyelids is delicate, I fear that the mark would probably stay for a lifetime. He responds by telling me that it is our ‘family trademark’ since the three of us (My husband, elder son and I) already have it and our younger son just got his. I had not even thought about it like that and I realize it only when he says it. I feel a small hint of a smile emerging on my lips and fall in love with him a little more for diffusing my tension in the most unusual way possible. Interestingly, my mother too says the same thing when I tell her about it.

Later in the day I watch my brave little soldier play, smile and walk around the house as usual and I feel relieved. While he seems to have moved on and forgotten about the injury, I seemed to be hurting for much longer than him. I wish we adults too could put our hurt and pain (physical and emotional) behind us with the same ease as little children and move ahead in life with a carefree smile. We have so much to learn from them, to love wholeheartedly, forgive easily, make friends effortlessly, laugh freely, be surprised by small things, find joy in everything (except eating), jump without the fear of falling, forget pain quickly and focus all our energy in having fun all the time!


(Printed in the March Issue of the White Print Magazine)

Tuesday 10 February 2015

Valentine’s Day and All That Jazz!


It’s the 14th of February this Saturday! Isn’t it just wonderful that it falls on a Saturday this time?  For those wonderful couples who believe in celebrating the ‘Day of Love’, it’s simply perfect! You go to any market place or mall or even an online store and you shall see cute little hearts splashed all over. The shades of red and pink are peeking from everywhere. It’s all so sugary sweet, it makes me feel nauseous. No offense meant to those who have special plans for celebrating the day, cooing sweet nothings into your beloved’s ear, while holding hands through the day.

Sometimes, I feel as if celebrating Valentine’s Day is more of a thing for teenagers who believe that love is just like the way it is shown in romantic movies, expressed through cards, gifts and flowers. I see this as an excellent opportunity for many companies to make money by setting up a perfect honey trap for you. They all seem so eager to sell you something that’s perfect for your partner. Doesn’t it look like they are much too interested in improving your love life? Sorry if I am making you feel bad… maybe it’s just that I have been married too long to believe in these mushy things.

If we needed a brand ambassador for Valentine’s Day, then I can only picture one man, standing there, with his arms spread out, telling his senorita how much he loves her. No one other than Shahrukh Khan comes to my mind. Having grown up in the 90’s, my impressionable mind at that age made me believe that maybe love was like that. That the man who loves you understands your feelings and emotions just by looking into your eyes and conveys his love eloquently through words. His intense eyes and facial expression convey true eternal love etc. Somewhere in my mind I blame him for making us girls believe in these fairy stories and also increasing the burden on the guys to be like him. Have you really come across a real guy like that who is capable of mindreading their partner’s feelings when she clearly say she is ‘fine’?

While I don’t believe in celebrating Valentine’s Day, I am still a die-hard romantic. To me, the best gifts are those that can never be mass produced in a factory or bought at the Archie’s store nearby. Love need not be conveyed through that super expensive bouquet of red roses bought on Valentine’s Day. Love cannot be celebrated on fourteenth of February every year and forgotten the next day. The most romantic words are never the cliché ‘I Love You’. While I absolutely do believe in expressing love, it doesn't need to be in any prescribed format or on a particular date.

To me, it’s a part of our lives, it is transient and continuous. It needs nurturing and grows through the investment of time from both. Also, if things are not as you would desire them to be, then you yourself need to be the knight in shining armour and put in effort to get things back on track. Love doesn’t need to wait for Valentine’s Day to be celebrated and neither is it limited to one day. It something that you live, breathe and feel every day and it’s not just about loving your husband or boyfriend either. It may not even be expressed in words, but can be hidden in a million things we do for our loved ones everyday.


You may also enjoy reading A Quaint Love Story!