Goodbye Gurgaon!

It’s 5:29 AM and I am awake. Actually, I have been for the last hour or so since he left for the airport. The same feeling of ‘now you are in-charge’ envelops me. It’s the ‘mode’ I put on whenever hubby is away. I tell myself, you can easily sleep for one more hour, but no, my brain refuses to oblige. (Before I got married, I was determined not to be like my mother, a little too alert and anxious when my father travelled, especially though a teen’s perspective. But, as time passes I see myself gradually becoming more like her.)

It’s too early to get out of bed, the kids are asleep, the house and the world outside is silent. With my eyes closed and body still (like I am still pretending to sleep) my mind begins to wander. I think new thoughts and bring back old memories. Some memories are easy to find, like they are on the top shelf of my bedside drawer, but others are lying in the bottom shelf, hard to retrieve, dusty and takes time and effort to pull out.

I think about the last ten years of our marriage and even the time before that. All the years I have spent in Gurgaon, right from the time I was a school girl and Gurgaon was like a budding city with a few residential buildings and even fewer corporate offices. Where finding snakes and mongooses was a common phenomenon. Schools and hospitals were numbered and the bus journey to my school in Vasant Kunj took 20 minutes. The construction of the highway had not begun and to travel to Delhi using public transport (Haryana Roadways) was an adventure in itself. Sounds unbelievable, no?

I witnessed how it grew from being the real “gaon” to the “global village” that it is turning out to be with world class schools, offices, restaurants, shopping centres, hospitals (not to mention traffic and pollution levels). Similarly, it watched me grow from a school girl in uniform, to college student, to office goer, to married woman, to becoming a mother-of two. I have called Gurgaon home for more than 18 years. Right from passing out of school, college, university, job, marriage and motherhood, this has been my base.

I would not have been thinking about it as I had never in all these years, for I had taken it for granted. Even the thought of living in another city never crossed my mind…till a few weeks ago. Soon, it will be reality. It will be time to pack our bags and move. This is more unbelievable to me than the transformation of Gurgaon. Nowadays, I look at everything through the lens of ‘What am I going to miss?’ and I see a lot around me that I am going to miss very dearly, including a lot of friends and family.

It’s 6:30 AM, hubby has boarded the flight and the kids have begun to stir….

P.S: Hubby is moving to a role in Ahmedabad and we are moving with him. The city is not alien to me having visited the city several times (and blogged about it) since my in-laws stay there. My mother says, “After 10 years of marriage, you are moving to your sasural.” Indeed, I am.

The Daughter I Never Had

A Short Story

Sunita was preparing dinner for her family. Her eight month old son was sleeping in the cradle in her room while her toddler played in the drawing room with her sister-in-law. Sunita had worked as a teacher in a primary school before her children were born. Presently, she was a housewife, taking care of her home and family was her duty. Her family comprised of her husband, his parents, his sister, grandmother and her two sons. Her husband a post graduate, worked at a bank and earned sufficiently to support all of them.

Sunita was making chapattis in the kitchen and was wondering if she was late. Her delay had earned her harsh taunts from her mother-in-law in the past, but what she feared much more was the tight slap from her husband that had left his palm printed on her face. She suddenly heard a child whisper into her ear. Although she could not make out what was being said, it was distinctly the voice of a child, a girl, not more than five. There was no one beside her and she dismissed it. Maybe she was tired.

Two days later while picking up her son’s toys from the floor she heard the voice again, whispering close to her right ear. She did not think much about it till later in the evening when her mother-in-law spoke about how Ammaji was losing her mind with old age. While Sunita knew that Ammaji at times spoke about very old incidents or forgot dates but this was bizarre. She had claimed to see a pretty little girl in the house, dressed in a beautiful frock and she asserted that it was Sunita’s daughter.

Later, that night as Sunita was drifting off to sleep after completing all her chores and putting her sons to sleep, she was startled to hear someone call out to her... ‘Ma’. She sat up with a jerk and found both her sons and husband sleeping peacefully. She could no longer go back to sleep and began thinking about the voice she had heard repeatedly over the past few days and about Ammajis insistence of having seen her daughter in the house. She was reminded of the time when she had been pregnant with their first child five years ago, before her sons were born.

Tears rolled down her sleepless melancholic eyes as she recalled how the gender detection test ordered by her mother-in-law had led to a big upheaval in their otherwise peaceful life. Her premature daughter had been snatched away from her, denied to live, extracted forcefully from her womb in an obscure nursing home in old Gurgaon. Sunita had cried for days, not from the pain, but from the grief of having lost her baby. Her husband although not an active accomplice had remained speechless and powerless in front of his mother’s wishes. The two pregnancies that followed would have met the same fate, but luckily for her, they were both male.

She wondered how an educated woman like her mother-in-law, who had been a school teacher herself, could harbour such hatred for her own creed. How a person could decide to end the life of her own grandchild, just because she was a girl? She could have revolted against her mother-in-law which would have left her homeless and rejected even by her own parents, but how could she fight against a society that considered a son to be the prized possession and a daughter as a burden. With these thoughts running in her mind, Sunita stayed awake till her tired body took over and guided her to sleep. She dreamt of a little girl in the pink frock, her face as pretty as a porcelain doll, bright eyes, pink lips and the most beautiful smile she had ever seen.

As per the 2011 population census, Haryana has sex ratio of 879 females per 1000 males, which is much below the national average of 940.

Interesting Census Facts 2011

§  Mahe district of Puducherry has the highest sex ratio of 1176 females per 1000 males

§  Daman district has lowest sex ratio of 533 females per 1000 males

 

http://www.census2011.co.in/states.php

One for the Road!

Fifteen years ago Gurgaon was not the millennium city it is today. There were no shopping malls, no mega office complexes, few schools and hospitals, hardly any hotels, limited eating options and no flyovers. It was the city people from Delhi made spacious houses in to retire peacefully or even for investment purposes since property prices were enticing. The roads were so empty that people who were learning to drive could practice with ease and it was no surprise if you spotted a snake or a mongoose outside your house.

Within a decade Gurgaon transformed to become a hustling bustling independent city with its famous malls, massive office complexes, luxury condominiums, several multi-speciality hospitals, dozens of schools, plethora of restaurants, metro connectivity, busy intersections and flyovers filled with fast cars. It is no longer a haven for the old and those keen to stay away from congested Delhi. It is now home to people from all over the country and the world, all thanks to all the multinational companies that choose to open shop in Gurgaon. Just like any busy city, Gurgaon has its own set of problems, but it’s the unique set of cars and the people behind the wheel that attracts my attention. If you look carefully, here is what you would find.

1)      The Cabbies: They are hired by the many ITES companies and BPOs to ferry people to and from office one batch after other. Drivers are usually red eyed, sleep deprived and working multiple shifts a day. The drivers and the engines of their cheap so-called SUVs are overworked. They stand too close at red lights and won’t think twice about brushing past. It is best to keep yourself and your car out of harm’s way.

 

2)     The Nouveau Rich: Often an indigenous Gurgaonwala who become rich by selling his agricultural land to a big builder. They are the ones with deep pockets and political connections. They are rich enough to buy the top line Audis and BMWs and powerful enough to stay out of jail even if they killed someone. They carry guns too and would not hesitate to shoot you. They are Gurgaon’s version of the fast and the furious. Watch out for them especially at night.

 

3)     The Office Crowd: The top brass usually has a chauffeur driven luxury sedan so they don’t have to waste their energy in changing gears and pushing pedals. They sit at the back, read the newspaper or discuss business strategy on the way to office. The other corporate commuters in middle management do not have this luxury but do not take the cab either. They drive their small or mid-sized cars to office and have to worry about petty things like parking.

 

4)     The Mommy Drivers: They mostly drive their children to school and various other classes, go to the gym, spa and the mall. The size of their car can vary depending on their husband’s occupation. They are smart enough to avoid the traffic hours.

 

5)     The Two and Three Wheelers: The delivery guys on bikes, the triple riders and scooters transporting families dangerously zigzag through the traffic maze and frequently bump into cars for the lack of keeping a safe distance and not using brakes appropriately. The three wheelers go at a slow pace impacting everyone behind them, they often compete with each other, take sharp turns and seem to be unaware of the trouble they cause to others.

Additionally, there are cyclists and pedestrians who are often found in the middle of the road even when the signal is green. This unique mix along with everyone’s “me first” attitude is a deadly one that can damage cars, injure people or even prove fatal, shattering many lives in the process.

Drive Carefully, Stay Safe!